


Too many close calls (you promised, remember?)

by camichats



Series: Colors, Soulmates, and other things Bucky can't live without [3]
Category: Marvel
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Battle of New York (Marvel), Canon Divergence - Avengers (2012), Established Relationship, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mind Control, Mind Control Aftermath & Recovery, One Sided Bucky Barnes/Steve Rogers, Soulmates, Temporary Character Death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-23
Updated: 2018-04-20
Packaged: 2019-01-04 12:52:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 6,813
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12169254
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/camichats/pseuds/camichats
Summary: The Avengers are assembled to deal with Loki, and everything started out a little too perfectly.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is a sequel to [We've made promises (now keep them)](http://archiveofourown.org/works/11499924). Honestly I should rename this series “Promises” but this is more fun.
> 
> Also, the temporary character death is Tony because this is the Avengers movie, so it's v temporary (it's also why I didn't tag Major Character Death).

Bucky and Tony were asleep in bed together, when a phone call jarred them both awake.

“Do you have any idea what time it is Fury?” Tony asked, slumping back down on his pillow once he answered.

Bucky snuggled closer to Tony, nuzzling the back of his neck as he listened.

“We need you and Barnes at the helicarrier site ASAP.” Fury’s voice was as no-nonsense as ever. If Bucky were more awake, he’d care about the edge of panic to it. As it was, what was a disaster for Fury wasn’t always a disaster for them.

“The helicarrier we’re not supposed to know about?” Tony yawned.

“Get your asses there, Stark,” Fury growled, not bothering to berate Tony for having classified information he hadn’t been invited to.

“‘There’?” Bucky whispered.

“Good point. Hey Nicky? How far away are you from your precious hunk of underdeveloped metal?”

He paused, and they could perfectly picture the way he would be grinding his teeth-- if they had the mind to, which they didn’t at the moment. “Five hours.”

“We’re two.” Tony hung up and rolled over to face Bucky. “JARVIS? Wake us up in a couple hours.”

“Of course, sir.”

* * *

Fury explained the Tesseract, Doctor Selvig, Agent Barton, and Loki with his world domination aspirations and little glowing magic stick. ...Then brought up a large display with even _more_ information, as if the man hadn’t been talking non-stop since they arrived.

“You sure that’s all you want to tell us?” Tony asked pointedly. Bucky thought that for a superspy, Nick Fury wasn’t able to lie to Tony very well. To be fair, that had more to do with Tony (rightly) not trusting a spy agency than Fury’s ability to lie.

Fury stared at Tony like he was hoping Tony would suddenly forget he asked anything. “You’ll see soon enough.” With that, he spun, coat dramatically flaring behind him, and left.

“Why do I get the feelin’,” Bucky started, “that when we find out, we’re gonna want to kill ‘im?”

“Because that’s usually what his secrets do to us. If you want, we can do a preemptive strike, but I think that would be in bad taste given that we’re dealing with a crisis right now.”

“Later then.”

Tony nodded. “After we know what he’s hiding. It’ll make for a better revenge that way.” He winked at Bucky, and they made their way inside to where Fury claimed a lab was. “A wretched little thing I’m sure. If he can’t build a proper helicarrier, there’s no way he could make a proper lab. I’m going to regress just by being in its presence Bucky! I’m going to die, there’s no two ways about it, and _then_ where will humanity be. I’ll devolve until I’m nothing more than a scattering of incohesive cells and the world will be flung back to the dark ages.”

“I’m not sure that’s how it works, doll,” Bucky said, not bothering to hide his smile. Even if he had, Tony would have known he wanted to, and the whole action would be rendered pointless.

“I will have you know that-”

“That you’re responsible for the world’s technology advancing at a rate it couldn’t accomplish without your existence,” Bucky recited. He kissed Tony’s cheek, but it didn’t stop him from pouting. “You can still say it yourself, if you want.”

Tony glared at him, without any heat. “Well if you hadn’t interrupted me, I _would_ have said it, but there’s no point now, is there? No, there isn’t. And it doesn’t matter that regardless of you cutting me off, you would have heard this hundreds of times before.”

“Not hundreds. Not even dozens, if you wondering.”

“Are you not going to let me exaggerate at _all_ this trip? I don’t know if I can survive that, Robo-cop, I really don’t. I thrive on 1. attention, and 2. you letting me do what I want. With this new direction of yours, you’re going to destroy me.”

“I would never destroy you.”

Tony paused. “I could either take this even further, or go off-the-wall sappy. I’m not sure I’m in the mood for either, so let’s say I won this conversation and move on.”

“As you wish.”

“What did I _just say_?” Bucky blinked innocently at him, but he glared back. “I hate you.”

Bucky smirked. It was a well-used declaration of love for them at this point.

* * *

An alarm went off, but Fury immediately called and told them that under no circumstances should they respond to it.

“What the fuck, Fury? You called us at ass o’clock in the morning to come here, but now you don’t want us to do the thing you called us for? That doesn’t make sense, even for you.”

“I didn’t call you for this. Stay here, Stark.” Fury left as if that were the final word on the matter. He should have known better than to think he could order Tony around, but Bucky was going to give him a free pass on his momentary stupidity since he was dealing with a murderous god who could brainwash Fury’s agents.

“...We’re going, right?” Bucky asked.

“Of course.”

“What if he has a good reason to want us to stay here?” Bucky asked as they headed to where Tony was keeping his suit. It’s not that he actually thought Fury had a good reason, but it needed to be said. Tony knew that, so he only snorted in response.

They didn’t take a jet, instead using the hug-and-grab hold in the Iron Man armor. Tony had to fly slower than usual for Bucky, but it was still faster than the alternative. Tony kept him updated on their progress, and as they neared their destination-- or what Tony had ascertained was their destination-- he cursed colorfully.

“Everything okay doll?” Bucky asked. He wanted to turn around and see it for himself, but didn’t for two reasons. 1. He’d probably fall, and while he trusted that Tony would catch him, it would be painful and they were probably heading into a fight. 2. He wouldn’t be able to see it anyway.

“I think I found out what Fury is keeping from us,” he said, voice pinched with anger.

“Killer rabbits?” Bucky joked feebly.

“He got a replacement Captain America.”

Bucky’s grip automatically tightened around the armor, and he forced himself to relax slightly. He’d learned the hard way that he was capable of denting it if he wasn’t careful. “Well.” Bucky cleared his throat. “I’m gonna fucking kill him when this over.”

“The new stars and stripes or Fury?”

“Fury.” As much as he despised the idea of someone in Steve’s place, in the uniform he used to wear, he wasn’t going to blame them. Bucky couldn’t imagine anyone being offered the position and turning it down.

Bucky rolled to absorb the impact as Tony dropped him off, sliding up to his feet in one smooth motion as he pulled out a handgun. Based on the information they had from the facility where Loki appeared, it wouldn’t do much good, but Loki wasn’t the only bad guy here, was he?

Loki took a repulsor blast to the chest and was thrown backwards. Tony started lowering himself to the ground, landing in between Bucky and whoever the fuck it was in Steve’s suit. He put both hands up, and let a small arsenal appear from slots in the suit. “Make a move Reindeer Games.”

Loki let his current outfit shimmer away until he was in something that looked less threatening.

“Good move.” Tony put away his own weapons, but Bucky knew he wasn’t accepting this as the easy defeat it appeared to be.

“Stark,” the ~~fake~~  new Captain America said.

Tony ignored him to walk closer to Loki, and Bucky appreciated the solidarity. He hadn’t so much as glanced at the man since seeing him initially.

The new Captain America sighed, but more like he expected it than because he was annoyed. He half-turned, then froze. “Bucky?”

Bucky’s body grew rigid. It couldn’t be… could it? Slowly, he turned to face him, peering at him closely for signs of his best friend. He was the right height, the right build, the eyes were the same. Distantly, he noticed Tony and Natasha putting Loki in the quinjet.

He raised his hands and took off his helmet revealing- Steve. Oh Christ it was Steve. “They didn’t tell me you were alive.”

“Yeah, well…” he swallowed. “They didn’t tell me either.” Steve shifted his weight between his feet, looking nervous for some stupid reason. “C’mere punk,” he said, crossing the distance between them and pulling him in for a tight hug.


	2. Taken

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Would you all be mad at me if I said I forgot I had posted the first chapter? I didn't think I needed to work on this fic because it wasn't up yet but... oops >.>
> 
> Because nothing much has changed for this section of the movie, this is mostly a transition chapter I'm afraid, just setting things up for the rest of the story.

When Tony went after Loki-- and apparently Thor?-- Steve wanted to jump after them, but Bucky held him back. “Just give Tony a minute and they’ll be back.” Not to say that Bucky didn’t want to go after him, but he knew he’d be in the way and make it much harder for everyone to get back on the quinjet and on their way to the helicarrier.

Steve made a face.

“What?”

“Are you sure you can trust Stark?”

Bucky’s face hardened. Steve was his best friend, but he wasn’t about to let _anyone_ speak poorly of Tony. “Yes.”

“I just mean… I’ve read up on him and it doesn’t look good,” he said, and this was down-right diplomatic for Steve, which Bucky would have appreciated more if it had been literally any other topic.

It didn’t endear Shield at all to him though. Bucky took a deep breath and tried not to snap at him. He was just trying to help. “He’s changed,” he said, a note of finality in his voice that Steve picked up on and, wisely, didn’t challenge.

Back on the helicarrier, Bucky was considering ripping apart pieces of the ship just to make life difficult for Fury. He was about two minutes away from actually doing it, especially when he acted like he didn’t do anything wrong with not telling him about Steve.

“Your bff hates me,” Tony said when they were alone, walking through the bland corridors of the helicarrier.

“No he doesn’t,” Bucky said automatically. No way in _hell_ was he letting Steve hate his goddamn soulmate.

“Fine, then he really doesn’t like me.”

“He’s an idiot who doesn’t know better, he’ll come around.”

“Are you trying to convince me, or yourself?”

“Tony.” They stopped walking, and Bucky made a quick check to ensure they were still alone.

Tony was staring at him defiantly, arms crossed over his chest and bathed in the light blue of his arc reactor. Bucky wanted to kiss away his insecurities, but kisses wouldn’t help in this situation. (It didn’t stop him from wanting to do it.)

“All he has is whatever bullshit Shield’s told him--”

“And my history,” Tony said. “Kinda speaks for itself, wouldn’t you say? It’s not exactly a glowing reputation to present to the world’s first superhero.”

“Let’s pretend I agree with you for a second. Let’s pretend that yeah, Steve hates you and that’s not going to change. Then what? What do you expect to happen?”

Tony blinked, taken aback. Bucky usually didn’t do this; he fought and talked and never let Tony think for a second that his worst case scenario was an option. “I- you’d leave.”

“Really? You think that, if Steve hated you, I’d leave you to stay friends with him?” From anyone else, it might have been accusatory, but Bucky was laying it out, trying to make Tony see exactly what he was saying.

Tony nodded, but he wasn’t as sure as he’d been moments ago-- his aggressive posture was starting to droop. “He’s your best friend.”

“Tony,” Bucky said softly, moving into his space and putting a hand on the side of his face. “I’ve lived without him for decades. If, for whatever reason, I had to keep doing that, I could. But you?” He stroked his thumb across Tony’s cheek. “I couldn’t live without you, and you know that.” He pressed a kiss to Tony’s lips and looked at him. “Okay?”

Tony nodded and kissed him. “Okay. Just- you might have to keep telling me that.” He gave Bucky an apologetic half-smile.

Bucky smiled back at him. “Anytime.”

* * *

Everyone was in the lab and Fury was making weapons with the Tesseract and Tony and Steve were on the same side but somehow they were still arguing with each other, pressing on old wounds and creating new ones.

Bucky was talking at Fury, asking him what the fuck he thought he was doing here, when he heard Steve say, “Big man in a suit of armor. Take that off and what are you?”

He dropped the ‘conversation’ with Fury and stalked over to him.

“Genius, billionaire, philanthropist and partner.” Tony had completely shut down, looking to the world like he didn’t care about anything.

Steve sneered at him. “He deserves better than you.”

Bucky grabbed him by the shoulder and jerked him away from Tony. “Back off,” he growled, trying not to get in Steve’s face but not being entirely successful.

“How can you be with him? He doesn’t care about you, it’s obvious; he only fights for himself.” Bucky could see past Steve that Tony was shutting down more and more with each word coming out of his mouth and Bucky was about ready to knock his teeth in.

“You need to stop talking about my soulmate like that--”

“Your _what_?”

The room exploded and Bucky dropped a floor (or five) and blacked out on impact. Next thing he knew, something cold and sharp was pressed to the center of his chest and then…

He was following Loki out and leaving without a moment’s hesitation.


	3. Before The Battle

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've updated the tags a bit to go with the new info in this chapter. For example, you may notice that the Steve/Nat background tag is gone bc I decided that's a direction I don't feel like going

Tony felt like he had been put through the shredder, which was scarily accurate given the incident with the engine. It must have shaken him a little more than he thought because the room had a blue tinge to it that he didn’t remember from earlier. He was still in his suit, sitting at the table with Cap, waiting for Fury and the rest of the team to show. Fury blew into the room, followed by Natasha, Clint, and Agent.

“Good to see you Hawk-ass,” Tony said, his voice sounding as tired as he felt.

Clint gave him a shaky smile and collapsed into a chair, clearly not recovered from his time with Loki.

“That was a cluster-fuck,” Fury announced, as if they didn’t already fucking know.

“Where’s everyone else?” Steve asked, and Tony couldn’t help but nod along. Why was Fury starting his lecture with only half of them present?

“The Hulk was let loose. He and Thor fell from the carrier in their scuffle. We’re working on locating and tracking them, but we don’t have the resources to chase after them full tilt.”

Tony waited for him to say “And Bucky’s in the bathroom” or something, but he didn’t add anything. “And Bucky?” Tony prompted.

Fury paused, which was never a good thing. “Loki has him.”

Steve burst from his chair and started yelling, but Tony could only hear buzzing. He couldn’t move, he could hardly breathe, he--

As if he weren’t in charge of his body, he stood, put his helmet back on, and started walking to the door. Clint’s eyes had been blue while under the influence of Loki’s scepter. He’d been seeing blue since the turbine but had written it off. He wasn’t being tortured then, but it was a small comfort, knowing what this would do to him once he snapped out of it.

Coulson blocked his way, but gently, like he knew Tony wouldn’t hesitate to toss him like a sack of fucking potatoes getting between him and his soulmate. “You don’t know where he is, and the easiest way to find him is already onboard and working.”

“C’mon Tony,” Natasha said, and christ, all of them were exhausted. “We’ll find him, but you can’t take Loki on your own.”

“I can damn well try,” he bit out.

“You don’t know where he is,” Coulson reminded him.

“Well it won’t take very fucking long will it? With what Loki has, there are only a few places in the world he can--” Tony froze. “Son of a bitch.” Fury asked ‘what?’ in the background, but Tony ignored him and turned to Clint. “You still had all your knowledge right? Of the helicarrier and Shield?”

Clint nodded.

“ _Shit_ ,” he muttered. “They’re at Stark Tower.”

“How do you know?” Steve asked.

“The arc reactor powers the whole tower, it can give them the jumpstart they need, and Bucky has all the codes to get access with no problem.” He took a deep breath and wished he was home, with his bots and his Bucky. “Not to mention our beloved enemy now has the Winter Soldier on their side, so even if he didn’t know the place inside and out, he could get them in anyways.”

* * *

It took far too fucking long to get everyone to agree with him and load up on the quinjet. Long enough that Loki was able to open a portal right above his and Bucky’s home to let a goddamned army of aliens through. Thor found his way to the quinjet as they were flying, unfortunately sans Bruce-- although he did knock instead of busting a hole in their ship, so small favors. He told them that the army coming through was called the Chitauri. Tony asked if knowing their name was going to help civilians not get fucking murdered. Everyone was quiet then.

Until, of course, Steve Perfect Rogers came up to stand beside Tony. He wasn’t looking for a fight but Tony was. “Bucky’s your soulmate?” he asked quietly. Non-confrontational. Normally, it would have worked like a charm. This wasn’t normal, though.

“Yeah and that’s not changing no matter how much you hate me, so don’t bother,” Tony snapped.

“No, I--” he stopped, squeezing his eyes shut. “I’m sorry. About everything I said about you.”

“I wouldn’t go that far, Cap. You’ll just regret it later.”

“No I won’t.” He took a deep breath. “You’re a billionaire, and I thought Bucky was your fling of the week, I just wanted to keep him safe.”

“Real great job we did there.”

“It’s better than the last time I failed him,” Steve muttered. “I shouldn’t have said you don’t care about him. You obviously do.”

“It doesn’t count as obvious if you only see it after knowing we’re soulmates,” Tony bit out, but Steve didn’t rise to it.

“I didn’t want to see it.” He looked away for a moment, hands clenching and unclenching at his sides. “I love him,” he admitted, voice barely a whisper as a look of shame and regret passed over his face. “I thought it didn’t matter that we weren’t soulmates. I thought he’d see me one day and realize he felt the same and that would be it.”

Tony felt… god he didn’t know. Not angry anymore, but like the emotion had been strings throughout his body and had been pulled out in one quick motion at Steve’s confession and now there were pieces of him that were achingly hollow.

“I was jealous when I had no right to be,” he said, finishing up his apology. “I’ve seen some of the things you’ve done.” He nodded to himself, and Tony never thought he’d see the day he made Captain America awkward. “Impressive.”

“Thanks,” Tony mumbled. He swallowed thickly, looking outside. “We’re landing soon, you should get ready.”


	4. The Battle

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here have a reason for the 'temporary character death' tag

“Hey Natasha?” Tony asked. She hummed to show she’d heard as she checked over her equipment. “How did you snap Clint out of it?”

“Bashed his head against a railing then punched him.”

“So we need to hit Bucky’s head hard enough to give him a concussion?” Tony asked, stomach turning at the thought.

“She didn’t give me a concussion,” Clint said from the pilot’s seat. “Besides, no one’s asking you to do it.”

Tony snorted. “Right, so who is? I’ve seen him fight; you’re good, but you’re not _that_ good. Even if you were, he’s a hell of a lot stronger than you.”

“Not me,” Steve said. “I can do it.”

“He may not recognize you,” Clint said, fighting to not get lost in the all too recent memories. “Not as a friend, I mean. He’ll know you, but he won’t care.”

“You can’t reason with him,” Natasha said. It sounded like they were speaking from experience. “You’re going to want to, but you can’t.”

Steve nodded resolutely, and Tony was struck by why Steve was Captain America when few others could be. Once upon a time he’d be terrified that Bucky was going to leave him for Steve, and even now he could see the appeal in a detached sort of way. Bucky had been very clear about how he felt about Steve though, and he’d told Tony as many times as he needed to hear it. Steve turned and looked Tony straight in the eye. “I’ll get him back for you.”

The sincerity and determination was enough to take Tony’s breath away, and fuck he had no idea how to deal with Steve being… himself, apparently.

Tony went onto the scene blasting the Chitauri he could see as he tried to discern what their pattern was, or even if there was one.

* * *

Steve saw Bucky across the way, feeling like his heart was breaking all over again. It was like Clint had warned him-- Bucky recognized him, but he didn’t care. He should listen to Natasha’s advice and attack, but he couldn’t do it without trying to reason with him first. Just a little bit. “People are going to die, Buck.”

He starts towards Steve, knife in hand and murder in his eyes.

“Please don’t make me do this,” he whispers to himself. He allows himself one second: one second to breathe and feel sorry for himself, one second to wish he could do something else, anything else. Then he hefted his shield and blocked Bucky’s first jab. He’d bring Bucky back to Tony like he promised.

After a minute, he got his opening and brought the shield down on Bucky’s head, the force carefully measured to not hurt him unnecessarily, but stronger than if it had been someone unenhanced.

Bucky made an aborted move to get up, collapsing on the ground. Steve took the knife from his hand and rolled him onto his back so he could watch his face for signs of change. Steve felt like he didn’t breathe in the time it took for Bucky to twitch and blearily blink open his eyes.

“Stevie?” he mumbled.

“Yeah, pal, it’s me.” Steve swallowed thickly and helped him sit. “How do you feel?”

“Like you hit me really fucking hard,” he said, but his voice held no incrimination.

“Had to be done. Uh, listen Buck, I’d love to sit here with you,” he really _really_ would, “but there are sort of aliens invading New York right now.”

“Shit.” He jolted, scrambling to stand. “ _Shit_. We need- we can close the portal with the staff Loki had, where is it?”

Steve shook his head and stood as well. “I don’t know, and Loki’s not exactly sitting on the roof sipping wine waiting for us to nab him.”

“Yeah I- I can help.” He grabbed a gun from somewhere on his person and checked it.

Steve frowned at him. “Have you had that the entire time?”

“Course.”

“Why didn’t you use it?”

Bucky paused, looking down at his weapon in confusion. “I don’t know. I guess… I guess I couldn’t go all the way against you, even then.”

Steve’s heart thumped hopefully in his chest, the kind of deep set hope finding out Bucky had a soulmate couldn’t shake in a single day. He cleared his throat uncomfortably and looked away. When he looked back, Bucky was looking at him, a concerned frown on his face.

“You okay?”

Steve shook his head again. “Later. When there aren’t, y’know, aliens destroying the city.” He never planned on having that conversation. Bucky would forget about it, and everything would be okay.

Bucky smiled at him, and it made his breath hitch (Bucky ~~hopefully~~ probably didn’t notice). “Let’s go save the city then.”

* * *

“Hi Tony,” Bucky said into his newly acquired comm. Natasha had been carrying an extra, apparently.

He heard Tony’s sigh of relief and smiled, even as he shot the Chitauri weapon he’d taken off a corpse. Their blood wasn’t red and he didn’t know how he felt about that. Definitely better after watching Star Trek and knowing this wasn’t a new concept, but still not great. Thor said he bled red. “Hey. You okay?”

He wasn’t. “As well as can be expected,” he went with, unwilling to admit that the only reason he was functional was because he wasn’t thinking about it. Dodge, fire, hit. He could do that.

Tony hummed, knowing what he meant, and didn’t press it further. They knew better than to have these sort of conversations A. in public and B. not face to face. Plus it wasn’t a conversation Bucky would be okay having at all, let alone in front of anyone not Tony. “Anybody heard from Fury? His silence isn’t exactly comforting.”

“Probably dealing with the World Security Council,” Clint said, sounding distinctly not happy about the possibility.

“What’s wrong with them?” Steve asked. He hadn’t had time to cover the Vietnam and Korean wars, let alone more recent things like councils.

“They shot down the Avengers Initiative. That we’re all here anyways without their consent probably pissed them off.”

“There are aliens,” Steve said. “Attacking New York. Are they really going to be upset with us combating that?”

“You underestimate how stupid some people can be Stevie,” Bucky said.

“Great.” It was a little funny, the way he huffed at that, never one to deal with power plays. In Steve’s mind, either you had a point, or you didn’t. If you do, great. If you don’t, shut up and get over it.

There was nothing funny about the way Tony said, a few minutes later, “There’s a nuke coming in.” It killed the relief that Natasha had given them a moment earlier, saying they had the staff and she could close the portal.

“ _What_?”

“Don’t worry,” he said, but Bucky could hear the tremble. “I’ll stick it up to the Chitauri ships waiting and be right back.”

“You’re a shit liar.”

He laughed a little, but his fear and sadness was tangible. “Jarvis, private line.” A tiny click. “You know I love you, right? I love you.”

“Don’t you dare,” Bucky warned, voice wobbling. “You- you promised me at least thirty more years, remember? You promised.”

“Sorry sweetheart. I don’t think that’s a promise I’ll be able to keep.”

“You promised,” he repeated. Iron Man came into view, and Bucky watched as he headed straight for the portal, bomb on his back as he redirected it. “Don’t leave me alone, baby, I need you, please, don’t,” he begged.

“Tell me you love me.”

“No. Don’t go.”

He was approaching the portal too quickly, wasn’t time supposed to slow down in situations like this? They needed more time, they were supposed to have more time. “Tell me,” he asked softly.

“I love you. I lo--” He never finished repeating it, choked on a sob as the Iron Man armor vanished into the portal as if it-- as if _Tony_ \-- had never existed. Tears blurred Bucky’s vision, but he could see the way the bright blue of the sky flickered, struggled for life for a few seconds, before becoming muted.

He heard Jarvis tell him that he lost the signal but that he was trying to reconnect.

He heard Natasha say, “It’s your call Captain.”

He heard Steve say, “You do not close that portal until Iron Man comes back out. As soon as he’s through, Widow.” He should tell Steve not to bother. They didn’t need a corpse.

He heard Natasha confirm.

It didn’t feel real. Maybe it did. It just didn’t feel like it mattered when the silver on his arm was no longer gleaming and even the blood of humans that spattered the ground in front of him looked like it was days old. His throat scratched as he tried to breathe and screeched as noise was torn from him.

When did he look down?

When had he fallen?

Steve was grabbing at him, trying to pull him up.

The Hulk roared-- close by, so close, but he wasn’t worried about why-- and he heard Tony gasp. The world re-infused with color and Bucky jolted, scrambling for Steve’s help because he didn’t have the strength in his legs to make it over the soulmate by himself. Steve was off balance at his sudden change, trying to adjust to the extra weight without really knowing how to do it.

Steve brought him to the armor’s side, where Tony’s face was visible from an absent face-plate, and helped him to the ground. Bucky crawled half on top of him and clawed at the armor for the sensation of his soulmate’s skin, fingernails catching against the surface, unsatisfied. His mind was too clogged to remember where the release was.

“What happened?” Tony gasped out, armor-covered hand coming up automatically to touch Bucky’s back.

“We won,” Steve said.

He nodded. “Woo, go us,” he said, trying for levity.

“With your actions,” Thor added, “the war-- not just the day-- has been won. You are a mighty hero, friend Stark.”

“We won.” He nodded, then looked at Bucky. They’d barely scraped a win. But they were still here.


	5. Home and Comfort

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The last chapter! Not sure it was worth a 3 month wait though lol. Let's just be happy you didn't have to wait another month for the end of the semester. 
> 
> I wouldn't be me if I didn't end this with pure fluff, so that's what you've got. (also I finished writing the chapter and posted it without even reading it through, so if there's an error or something please tell me)

Even with the Tower partially destroyed, Tony and Bucky had enough rooms-- and more importantly beds-- left to put everyone up for the night. The mated pair showed everyone to their rooms, gave them the run-down on Jarvis and the location of the kitchen. Bruce was the first to pile in, nodding thankfully and all but collapsing as soon as his body hit the mattress.

“Hey J?” Bucky said. “Can you have one of the cleaner bots drop some bars on the bedside table for him?” The protein bars that Bruce had designed specifically for this reason, but Jarvis didn’t need to be told that.

“Of course.”

“Thanks.” When Steve looked at him, a question in his eyes for the request, he explained, “Transforming probably takes a lot out of him. He’ll wake up hungry before he’s done with sleep.”

Tony nodded in agreement, looking like the armor was the only thing keeping him upright. Bucky figured it probably was.

Natasha and Clint went into the next room together, and like hell any of them were going to question that shit right now. Not that Bucky or Tony found it particularly surprising, but it hadn’t been confirmed that they were together until now. This did put them a big step closer to Bucky and Tony’s soulmate theory though.

Steve hesitated before going into his room.

“We’ll still be here when you wake up,” Tony assured him, recognizing the look that Bucky used to get when he first started staying. He looked at him a moment longer, then poked Bucky’s flesh arm with one of his armored fingers. “Give him a hug, so he’ll stop looking like a kicked puppy.”

Steve jolted, looking at Tony with something between surprise and unease. “Uh, no Buck, it’s fine. I’m just tired.” He waved awkwardly, backing up and bumping into the doorframe. “See you tomorrow or uh, sometime. After that.”

“Okay,” Bucky said slowly to the now-closed door. He turned to Tony for answers, but Tony was frowning at the door.

He gave Bucky a half smile when he noticed him looking and started walking towards their room. “I guess I’ll apologize for that ‘tomorrow or uh sometime’.”

“Apologize for what?” Bucky asked, taking a couple hurried steps so he was by Tony’s side as they trudged to their room.

Tony shook his head. “Nothing. Just me being a little insensitive. Don’t worry about it babe.” He glanced at him. “How are you feeling?”

Bucky kept his eyes facing forward, not sure he could make it if he looked at Tony right now. “Like I can keep it together until we’re in our room.”

“Okay,” Tony said softly, not showing any reaction when Bucky upped the pace, just walked faster to keep up.

As soon as the door to their room closed, Bucky slumped, and Tony hurriedly left the suit, only to stumble without the support. He stumbled _towards_ Bucky though, so he called it a win. He wrapped his arms around him and held on as tight as he could-- which wasn’t very much at the moment. His muscles were weak, his mind even more so. He didn’t say anything. Bucky turned to hug him back, and neither of them spoke.

They were standing like that long enough that Tony felt like his body had molded into Bucky’s.

Bucky didn’t remember starting to cry, but he was, first quietly, then sobbing into Tony’s hair. “You were dead,” he choked out.

“It’s okay, I’m here now.”

“No Tony,” he said desperately, “you don’t understand; you were _dead_. The colors were- the colors were blank and you weren’t h-here and--”

“Oh,” Tony breathed. “I thought I passed out, I didn’t-.” He gripped Bucky tighter. “I’m not dead, and you’re- you’re here too. It’s just us again.”

Neither of them expected to sleep well, and they were right. Everytime Tony closed his eyes he saw the army waiting to come through the portal. Bucky… Bucky felt like he wasn’t in control. He had a nightmare of him, not in control of his body, watching Tony get killed and not caring when his heart lurched or the world around him muted. He jerked awake, pulling Tony to him with shaking arms in the still-vibrant glow of the arc reactor.

The day wasn’t easy, and the next night wasn’t any better than the first. Flashbacks to his Winter Soldier days were vivid even with his eyes wide open. He went to the kitchen and turned the lights to their brightest as he baked, trying to force the memories away with batter and powdered sugar. He could feel it flying through the cracks of the arm, but he told himself he would clean it in the morning. Or later. Sometime, he’d get to it.

Tony came crashing into the kitchen after a couple hours of aggressive baking, hair wild and eyes wide with fear. He nearly collapsed in relief when he saw Bucky. “You’re okay,” he mumbled, stumbling towards Bucky with his hand out.

“Yeah solnyshko, I’m okay.” Bucky stepped forward to meet him, and wrapped him in a protective hug, kissing his head.

“I woke up and you weren’t there. And- and before, Loki took you and you never came back and I woke up and you _weren’t there_.”

“It’s okay baby, it’s okay,” Bucky whispered, rubbing him back. “We’re both alive, we’re both here. I just didn’t want to wake you up, you were sleeping so good. I promise I’m alright, I promise _we’re_ alright.”

Tony was trembling, and Bucky held him through it all. A timer went off and Tony looked towards it, seeing the fruit of Bucky’s labor spread across the counters. Jarvis silenced the timer without being asked. “Guess you weren’t doing so great either.”

Bucky swallowed, shuffling Tony with him to turn off the oven. “Want a muffin?” He gestured to where a selection was sitting. “I’ve got blueberry.”

Tony gave him a small smile, kissing his jaw, then his cheek, then his mouth with soft brushes of his lips. “Sounds amazing.”

A couple more days and Tony was feeling tentatively well enough to talk to Steve. “Sorry about… before. All that.”

“Yeah, I’m- I’m sorry too.” The way Steve swallowed made it clear he wasn’t use to apologizing. Either that or he was uncomfortable around Tony, and honestly it could have been either one and he’d believe it. “You died,” he said suddenly.

Tony glared, automatically wanting to go on the defensive. He swallowed down the jabs and settled for, “I noticed.”

Steve looked at the ground in shame, his hands clasped together tightly. “We didn’t close the portal until you came back through, but I-.” He cut himself off, throat working. “I hoped you wouldn’t,” he admitted hoarsely. Guiltily. “For a second, I thought you were gone and I thought it might give me a chance with Bucky.” He shook his head and took a few bumbling steps away from Tony. “You’re a good person, and you- you’re perfect for him. I can see how happy you are together. And you’re _good_ ,” he repeated. “But I wanted you gone.” He shook his head again, more vigorously this time as if he could throw the bad thoughts from his mind if he tried hard enough.

“I’m so sorry,” Steve said desperately. “God Tony I’m so sorry. I don’t think I should stay here, christ I should never have stayed--”

“Steve,” Tony said, voice surprisingly even.

Steve shut his mouth immediately, head bowed, waiting for punishment.

“I don’t blame you. Maybe I should-- hell, maybe I will in a couple days-- but right now I don’t. It was only for a second right?”

Hesitantly, like he couldn’t believe what was happening, he nodded. “I’m sorry,” he said again, because that was important.

“I know. And that sure as hell helps your cause,” Tony added with a quirk of his lips. A beat. Tony held out his arms. “You look like you could use a hug, c’mon.”

“Are you serious?” Steve asked, eyes darting around the room like he expected to be tazed if he took so much as a step towards Tony.

“When it comes to hugs? Always.” Tony beckoned with curled fingers. “I’m not a supersoldier Cap, my arms are getting tired.”

Steve swallowed, taking small, tentative steps until he was hugging Tony, his touch light so he didn’t hurt him. “Thanks Tony.”

“Anytime.”

“Hey Tony?” Bucky’s voice called, stepping into the room a moment later. He came up short when he saw them, a confused look on his face as he took them in. “Everything alright?”

“Never better.”

“I didn’t know you were getting along,” he said, sounding _very_ pleased with the idea.

“Oh yeah,” Tony said, keeping ahold of Steve when he made a vague attempt to step away. “We’ve formed a club.”

“Can I join?”

“Nope.”

“Aw why not?”

“It’s for people who love Bucky Barnes, and self-love does not count. Now shoo, you’ve interrupted the meeting.”

Bucky quirked an eyebrow, giving a pointed look to their hug. “Doesn’t look like a meeting to me.”

“This is what we do,” Steve chimed in, face pink as he joined the teasing, not a hundred percent comfortable, but getting there. “We hug and talk about how great you are.”

“And get dinner. Or-” he paused, face scrunching, “J? What time is it?”

“One in the afternoon, sir.”

“Lunch. We also get lunch.”

Steve nodded.

Tony finally broke the hug. “Unless you wanted something?” Tony checked.

Bucky smiled at the two of them, soft and content. “Nope. Just wanted to see you.” He walked forward and kissed Tony’s forehead, then gave a quick hug to Steve. “Have fun. If anything happens…”

“We’ll give you a call. I promise,” Tony said. He stood on his tiptoes for a second to give Bucky a kiss. “Ready?” he asked Steve.

Steve nodded and followed Tony out of the room, hesitating when he passed Bucky. “Can we talk sometime? I’ve missed a lot.” He gave a crooked smile. “I’d like to catch up, hear what you’ve been doing.”

Bucky positively beamed. “Absolutely. Have fun at lunch, yeah?”

“Yeah.”

* * *

Tony had been at lunch with Steve, then, upon arriving at the Tower, been called away by Pepper. Something about Chitauri tech and R&D and he was gone for the rest of the day. Bucky shoved some pastries he’d made at Steve, who wolfed them down. He felt like he should be sick from all the sweets, but the serum prevented anything from happening. They made cookies, and Bucky talked about the changes in scarcity.

They made dinner together, and Steve left to watch a documentary while Bucky brought a plate down to Tony. He couldn’t stop, but he thanked Bucky and promised to be in bed that night-- with an additional promise to keep him updated on his progress so Bucky would know what time to expect him.

Natasha and Clint were watching old Disney movies with Steve, and Bucky joined them.

It was nice. There were still things to deal with, but for the moment, life was good.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay question: does anyone want this to become Steve/Bucky/Tony? I wouldn't really consider it canon to this storyline, but if anybody wants it, you might want to say so. 
> 
> Edit: Jesus CHRIST you all hate the idea of ot3 XD

**Author's Note:**

> I'm on tumblr [@cami-chats](http://cami-chats.tumblr.com)


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